Are you cold? Is your house cold?
When it’s the middle of January, and you want this nightmare to end, but summer is half a year away, a warm beverage is certainly in order.
That’s why mulled wine is sure to warm the cockles of your heart. Yes, I’m talking about a wine that really ponders life’s true existence. A wine that contemplates the very nature of art versus beauty. A wine so strong and simple, that it makes you “mull” over Salvador Dali’s melting clocks the moment you take a sip.
Mulled wine is more than just a philosophical ideal, however. It’s like apple cider, but made with better stuff—Merlot, port, cider, oranges, and a shelf full of spices.
That’s why it makes you feel all happy inside. The three different alcohols, sitting and soaking in the wondrous aromas of cinnamon, cloves, and cardamom, take away each and every one of your seasonal pains.
Official Messy Cooker Review: My good friend “SLDKJFLSDKJF” (Yep, from the Swimmer’s Seaweed Salad post) recently gave me a recipe from the Seattle Cider Company. I made half of the recipe since I had a small crock-pot available. I used not-as-sweet-as-it-should-be port, so the mulled wine tasted a bit tart. But after I took a few gulps, I didn’t mind it too much.
Expectations (of sweetness) aside, I cherished all aspects of drinking this heart-warming delight. Swishing the taste around in my mouth was a holiday in and of itself. And as the piping hot liquid made its way down my throat, all earthly tensions seemed to disappear. Even though the wine was now far below the upper region of my body, a soothing sensation—a warming, softening, yet tingling in my heart—remained. Bet apple cider can’t do that.
SOCIETAL WARNING: Don’t drink too much around co-workers or mother-in-laws that you’re trying to impress. This drink is STRONG and you will say some weird stuff if you have too much. Or you’ll fall asleep. Either way, it’s not a good impression.
Recipe for “Let Me Mull It Over” Mulled Wine
Time: 2 hours, 5 minutes
Difficulty: Throw-it-in-a-pot easy
- 2 bottles Merlot
- 1 cup tawny port
- 3 cups Seattle Cider (or any semi-sweet cider)
- 20 whole cloves
- 1 whole orange (cut in half)
- 2 cardamom pods (or 10 cardamom seeds)
- 2 cinnamon sticks
- I Kant even (begin to tell you how easy this recipe is). Put all ingredients in a crock-pot. Be sure to slice the orange in half to allow its juices to flow freely.
*Note 1: Don’t have a crock-pot? You can use a normal pot. Turn heat to very low/simmer. Check on it every half hour just in case it decides to boil.
*Note 2: I couldn’t find cardamom pods, so I put in the seeds themselves. It was fine.
- Marx your timer for 2 hours. Set crock-pot to low (or normal pot to very low/simmer) and let sit for 2 hours.
- THAT’S IT! DRINK UP!
Some don’t like their liquids chunky. If you want to de-chunkify the mulled wine, use a strainer with fine mesh OR cheesecloth when pouring the wine into mugs.
Some like to be fancy. If you fancy being fancy, serve your wine with a cinnamon stick in each glass. Or lightly dust the edges of the mug with cinnamon (I’m kind of kidding with that last one. Kind of. )
Quick Clean Up
This recipe is so easy; if you made a mess I’d be visibly upset with you.
Extra! Extra! Read All About It!
Does the wine have you thinking about beauty and its opposite, ugliness? Read a nice article on it!
IF MELTING CLOCKS ARE EVERYWHERE. Watch Salvador Dali’s film, “Un Chien Andalou”.
Not sure what “mulled” means? Here’s the definition. Just in case I confused you enough with all of this philosophy.