Welcome to The Messy Cooker!

Dear Visitor, Welcome to The Messy Cooker! Here you’ll find original recipes, crazy concoctions, delicious new ingredients, discussions on the basics, and some really MESSY mistakes. People aren’t perfect, which means that cooking sure as hell isn’t either. That’s why you’ll find real pictures of very real attempts at making various dishes, whether they are…

The Top 5 Pizza Places in Seattle

Hello cookers! This July, I’m taking a slight departure from my usual writings. Instead of offering up a family recipe or a variation of some yummy thing I found on the Internet, I’ll be churning out a series of Top Five lists. Yes, yes I know they’re click bait. But that’s not why I’m writing them …

Getting Creative with Custard Fruit Tarts: Writing Exercise and Recipe

[The Messy Cooker uses one writing prompt—on the table, lies a custard fruit tart—to create three separate movie scenes. Recipe to follow.] SCENE VARIATION #1 INT. PIRATE SHIP – NIGHT ONE-SHOT NORMAND and BRAWNED BILL are gathered around the tiny table in the Captain’s quarters. The ship is swaying with the sea, the various treasures…

Quick and Crunchy Irish Soda Bread Recipe (and Baking Song!)

[The Messy Cooker has written a very doughy song that you can sing while making Irish soda bread! The best part about this recipe? No yeast needed. Done in 90 minutes.] Irish Soda Bread Song Everyone needs a good choring song. And because none of us are Disney princesses and have magical creatures to help…

Original Cocktail: The Sunshine Reviver

This spring cocktail—hand-crafted with all available alcohols on my shelf—is in a league of its own. Think of it as a Dark and Stormy meets a Rosé Spritzer. It somehow washes away all of the tumultuous moods of winter and beckons fresh spring sunshine with an assortment of fruits, herbs, ginger beer, port, and rosé….

A Recipe and Formal Debate for Simple Chocolate Cake

Why hello, my good friends! Welcome to this formal debate, where we’ll decide once and for all—what is the best cake? As your judge, jury, and executioner with exquisite taste, I hope you will find that your taste buds relate. Now away with this intro! The debate cannot wait. Up first, is the simple chocolate…

Easy, Freezy, Beautiful Chicken Fried Rice

It’s the latest fashion to buy, eat, keep (and repeat) frozen foods right now. So, here’s a recipe that you can make with all those frozen vegetables you have laying around in your freezer.

Empower Your Celery to Be More Than It Is; Make Celery Soup

[The Messy Cooker had two full heads of celery left over and decided to do something about it. Here’s her pretty-good attempt at making celery soup.] A single stalk of celery was feeling sorry for themself. They no longer wanted to be strung along by the rest of the family, which obviously contained cooler and…

Fresh Cherry Crumb Cake Recipe

Inspired by this summer’s collection of horror t.v. shows (Stranger Things) and movies (MidSommar), The Messy Cooker tries her hand at writing a deliciously dreadful opening…

Slow Cooker 101: 5-Minute Prep Mississippi Pot Roast

[The Messy Cooker uses a slow cooker for the first time and is shocked and amazed at how quickly she can prep meat (in five minutes, folks). She now messes with time and space to explain the origins of a chuck roast.] The date was 1582. A fine young man by the name of Chuck…

The Southern Delight: BBQ Bacon Bison Burger

[Back in February, I had the chance to visit my good friend Loo #1 in Montgomery, Alabama. While she’s originally from California, she has lived in the South for two years now and it has certainly started to influence her style of cooking; enter the BBQ Bacon Bison Burger, created by Loo #1 herself]