Welcome to The Messy Cooker!

Dear Visitor, Welcome to The Messy Cooker! Here you’ll find original recipes, crazy concoctions, delicious new ingredients, discussions on the basics, and some really MESSY mistakes. People aren’t perfect, which means that cooking sure as hell isn’t either. That’s why you’ll find real pictures of very real attempts at making various dishes, whether they are…

Spaghetti Squash Pad Thai

[Since spaghetti squash is considered a common diet food, this week’s intro is styled as a 1950s weight loss advertisement] Hello there friends, Are you constantly craving Pad Thai but also watching your waistline? Do you want to fill your mouth with spicy watery tasty noodles without hurting your wallet? The answer to all of…

Vodka Kahlua Cupcakes with Spiked Hot Chocolate Frosting

[The Messy Cooker gets personal as she looks back on the past year…and her choir years?] I’m not sure how, but it’s been one year since I started The Messy Cooker. It’s had its highs (becoming a latke!) and its lows (cutting my finger while making gummy worms), yet I’ve enjoyed every single moment of…

Get Figgy With It (Honey and Fig Cocktail Recipe)

[The intro to this blog post is the first in a series of food for thoughts] The clouds thinned, letting through sunbeams of orangesicle and pineapple sherbet. And still, I waited. Darkness marched overhead, commanding the stars to sprinkle throughout the rich and silken sky. And yet, I waited. One wafen moon passed after another….

A Sangria of Ice and Fire

[*Surprise blog post!* This  was created for the Game of Thrones finale, if you didn’t already catch on to that.] Brought to you by the George R.R. Martini Beverage Co. This sangria can be enjoyed by both dead people and alive… If you’re a Lannister, the red wine base will call to you from your…

Alotta Horchata

Blame the refrain. After hearing the opening line of Vampire Weekend’s “Horchata” repeat mercilessly in my head—in December drinking hor-cha-ah-ahh-ta—I simply had to grab hold of a recipe STAT. It just so happens that horchata is a delicious complement to the last spikes of heat left in summer. What sheer dumb luck! If you haven’t…

*Guest Cooker* Pasta La Vista, Baby (homemade pasta recipe)

[This blog post features a casually genius recipe by The Messy Cooker’s friend, John. Also, be on the lookout for TMC’s favorite Italian words sprinkled throughout this post….] Got a hot date? Impress your amore (love) by making pasta with your bare hands.

The Wisconsin Diet

We don’t need a date on the calendar to tell us that summer has arrived. When you see those squiggly, blurry waves of heat rising off the sun-caked pavement, you know it’s here. In celebration of this season of warmth and the long hours of the sun, here’s a recipe that will keep you cool…

The Swashbuckler’s Delight

  It sure ain’t pretty, but it is intriguing. Today’s recipe was inspired in part by my unrelenting desire for lychees and my utmost fascination with pirates. It’s no surprise that the resulting concoction is none other than a rum-filled, mint savvy mojito with eccentric lychee ice cubes. *Note: The pirates fascination may or may…

Review of Thug Kitchen: Eat Your Fruits and Veggies

[This week’s blog post and recipe is written in the style of “Thug Kitchen”…except without the expletives] What’s up, batches? I’ve got another review for you motherfudgers. Thanks to my pal, CandyMaster, I was introduced to the hilarious creations from the Thug Kitchen cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck. Some background: Thug Kitchen started…

Great-Grandma’s Hungarian Chicken Paprikash (and Nockerl) Recipe

“What? You don’t like the other pie?” Everyone at the table groaned. My great-grandma had made Steve all of his favorite dishes: stuffed veal, chicken paprikash, cucumber salad with vinegar dressing, lima bean soup, and cauliflower with bread crumbs. He was doing an admiral job; he had navigated each course like an air force pilot…