[The Messy Cooker uses a slow cooker for the first time and is shocked and amazed at how quickly she can prep meat (in five minutes, folks). She now messes with time and space to explain the origins of a chuck roast.]
The date was 1582. A fine young man by the name of Chuck was traveling with his favorite pet, Shirley. Sure, she was cute. But enough to introduce to his parents? He wasn’t sure. The train ride was uneasy. The quarters were so cramped he could barely see his beloved beyond his own brow. His family had made quite the brouhaha when he announced his intentions to marry. But, by the cut of his jib, he would go the 1,000 paces to the east of Mayo to prove himself.
The problem was, he was starving. Mind numbing hunger flashed in his eyes. Surely, you must be kidding me, he grumbled aloud. Shirley muffled a bland, “yeh?”
Without a beat, he opened the train door and ordered the conductor and his two horses to halt. In the distance, he spotted an unusual animal. White with black spots? Black with white spots? His mounting hunger prevented him from caring. He unsheathed his 22-caliber rifle and aimed at the grazing thing.
BANG! It went down immediately. Chuck ran as quickly as his legs could carry him. The thing was laying on its side. Chuck expected a fight, but the thing had barely even moved out of the way of his bullet. What a coward, he thought.
He heaved the coward onto his shoulders and drudged towards the train. Betwixt the heat and the mud beneath his boots, Chuck felt as if eons had passed as he made his way back.
He dumped the coward at the conductor’s feet. The conductor was confused, and as Chuck began to explain, he had a severe attack of the heat and simply mumbled, “cow …” before tumbling to the ground.
The train conductor called for Shirley. “Your beau, he has died of the common roast. But he did bring us this here … cow. It may be simple, but it will suffice.”
Shirley pursed her lips. She didn’t want to bring the news to Chuck’s parents. But if she could offer them a hearty dish, perhaps this would mollify them a bit. “A chuck roast, for my dear. I shall bring this cow in his honor.”
And all was swell.
Recipe for 5-Minute Prep Mississippi Pot Roast
*Source: Belle of the Kitchen’s recipe for Mississippi pot roast.
Servings: SO much food. I had to share with two different people and still had six meals leftover for myself. So 8 humans, I guess?
Time: 5 minutes prep + 8 hours slow cookin’
Difficulty: You’d be a coward not to try it
- 4 lbs chuck roast
- 1 packet ranch dressing mix
- 1 packet au jus gravy mix
- ¼ cup butter
- 6 pepperoncini peppers
- Line it up. To make it real easy on yourself, buy some slow cooker liners (like these). Remove one from the box and drape it over the slow cooker.
- Beat the meat. Open up the bundles of meat, take a small knife, and perforate the top of the meat so the flavors will soak in.
- Add all the stuff. Dump the packets of ranch and au jus gravy mix on top of the meat. Cut up ¼ cups of butter into chunks, add on top of meat. Delicately place pepperoncini peppers over the meat. Set on low for 8 hours.
- Eat the meat. Do I even have to tell you to eat? That’s it, this recipe can be done in three steps, but I added a fourth just to fool you when you’re skimming this online.
*Note: I highly recommend NOT slow cooking the meat overnight. Waking up to the smell of cooked meat isn’t as friendly as freshly brewed coffee … I’m sure you can imagine.
This makes a TON of meat. I gave some to my friends and when I still had some leftover, I sandwiched it between pieces of bread and complemented it with pickles. And made sweet potato stew. This would also be good with mashed potatoes, rice, or veggies (for all you health nuts out there).
Quick Clean Up
Remember that slow cooker liner? Yeah, it’s almost as magical as the slow cooker itself. As long as you haven’t poked any holes in it, just pick up the liner and throw it away. Your slow cooker is ready to be put back on the shelf. *dusts off hands*
Extra! Extra! Read All About It!
Is there a difference between a chuck roast and pot roast? NOPE. Here’s why.
Horse butts used to be a form of measurement. Don’t believe me?
What are other favorite foods that come from Mississippi? Here’s 12 of them!